About choosing your love life…
I never write about my personal life in this blog. But as I like to share opinions on my understanding of feminism, I wanted to write about a personal thought that may concern women in my age.
Somewhere in the mid-twenties we begin to feel that we have everything in control in our lives. Weather in our choice of professional career or in the studies we chose to pursue or the dreams we begin fulfilling.
It is a feeling that I have thrived and which made me feel I am becoming the woman I wanted myself to become.
Than, I encountered a man.
I saw this painting by Jon Rafman in the Musée d’Art Contemporain in Montréal and I felt it beautifully translated the way I was living my life.
Trying to organize everything between two-part-time jobs (sometimes three), University, and finding time to look good and take care of my body, everything was really in control and I felt an infinite satisfaction about it. But am I not missing something about life ? Isn’t love about spontaneous actions ?
I felt such complex feelings of fear and indecision. By allowing someone to enter in your intimacy and loving them unconditionally, you lose some of the control you had on your life’s all aspects.
But then, what is life if not taking some unmeasured risks ? May be a comet could hit planet Earth tomorrow and we all would die instantly ? No matter how hard we try to limit the risks of our future to achieve our goals, life finds a way to catch us in the most unexpected ways.
Even if it wouldn’t work, if it is bringing its lot of pain, it would have been worth living it. May be do I need to ease the grip of control over every event, and take a break to admire the unexpected beauty of Life.
For that, I am giving love a chance.